Release

Fingers Clinched

I feel the thorns pierce my hand

Tearing my skin

And my heart

Blood trickles down my finger tips

Like crimson tears the drops fall in a rhythmic pattern to the floor

Still grasping the source of pain

I am afraid to let go...

My hand is sore

But my heart refuses to release

I hold even tighter,

And winch as the thorns are driven deeper

Caught in this Battle with my heart

My grip remains

As the blood continues to fall to the floor,

I hear you whisper in my ear

"Let Go"

Afraid of the wound that would be left exposed,

I am tempted to strengthen my grip once more

With the gentleness of a loving Father,

You ask me to release it into Your hand.

Your voice is one of comfort and assurance

That fills me with the strength I need.

Slowly, I open my hand, release....

And my wound begins to heal

David Wilkerson- The Battle Is the LORD's

My friend sent me this devotional by David Wilkerson a couple days ago.. I began to read it and nearly started to cry. It's soooo encouraging!!! and was exactly what I needed to to read that very day. Because it is so good I wanted to post it for you guys. Enjoy :)))


The reason I am writing this is to remind you the battle you are facing is not yours, but God’s. If you are a child of his, you can be certain that Satan will “rage against you.”

In 2 Chronicles 20, a great multitude came against God’s people. King Jehoshaphat and his people set their hearts to seek the Lord and to fast. The king cried out to God a prayer that most of us have prayed at times in our spiritual journey: “We have no might against these that come against us, neither do we know what to do; but our eyes are upon you” (20:12). “The Spirit of God came in the midst of the congregation…saying, Be not afraid nor dismayed…for the battle is not yours, but God’s (20:14-15).

Isaiah gave this warning to all satanic forces: “Who have you reproached and blasphemed? And against whom have you exalted your voice?... Even against the Holy One of Israel” (Isaiah 37:23).

God told his people Israel, and he tells us today: “The battle is not against you. It is Satan’s rage against me, the Lord who abides in you.” God said to Satan, “I know where you abide, and where you come and go, and your rage against me” (37:28).

I ask you: where is your battle? In your marriage? Your business or job? Your finances? Your health? Does your battle get more intense day after day? If you have a heart for Jesus and a desire to cleave to him, you will face the rage of hell. But that is still not your battle.

You can end your battle quickly if you choose – simply by quitting and giving in to your fears and doubts. Satan will not bother those who give up their confidence in the Lord.

Yes, the battle is the Lord’s, but we have a part – and that is to trust and believe his promises in the face of hopelessness and what seem to be impossibilities. “Why sayest thou, O Jacob, and speakest, O Israel, My way is hid from the Lord, and my judgment is passed over from my God?” (Isaiah 40:27).

Faith demands that I turn over all my problems – all my critical situations, all my fears, all my anxieties – into the hand of the Lord. When I have done all I can do, and I know my battle is beyond my power, I must submit all into his hands.

Our Lord knows the raging of Satan, and we must truly believe he will act. He will bring us through floods and fires and put to chase all spiritual enemies. Here is God’s Word concerning what he will do: “Because of your rage against me…it has come into my ears, therefore I will put a hook in your nose, and my bridle in your lips, and I will turn you back by the way you came” (Isaiah 37:29).

If you will hold fast to your faith – trusting him, resting in his promises, rejecting all lies of Satan coming into your mind – then expect God to come by his Spirit into your situation and bring an expected end to your particular battle. He will move heaven and earth to deliver you and make a way. The way out is to trust, trust, trust! “He makes wars to cease” (Psalm 46:9).

Nothing to Say...

Wow, I haven't posted in a while...it's really not that I have nothing to say, it's that sooooooooo much is going on and it's all too much for me to write about...so I guess the problem is that i have too much to say lol ;)

Right now I am currently wondering if my life could change any more and if there is anything left to be reveal as being different than how I once perceived it.

I know that we all go through times of testing and refinement...this is one of those times. I was listening to one of my favorite band's songs and I had a revelation of just how true the lyrics were. They speak of how when storms come and the rain falls we are washed by the water; the same water that seems to pierce us, pounds against our backs, and makes us wonder if we will ever see the Light, is the same water that refines us, and makes us stronger. It is painful and we wonder when the pounding will end...but when it does, we find our faith stronger and our hearts even more dependent on Christ's strength.

the following are the lyrics to the song i was referring to (Washed By the Water by Needtobreathe):

Daddy was a preacher

She was his wife

Just tryin to make the world a little better

You know, shine a light

People started talking

Just to hear their own voice

Those people tried to accuse my father

Said he made the wrong choice

Though it might be painful

You know that time will always tell

Those people have long since gone

My father never failed

Even when the rain falls

Even when the flood starts rising

Even when the storm comes

I am washed by the water

Even when the Earth crumbles under my feet

Even when the ones I love turn around and crucify me

I won’t never ever let you down

I won’t fall

I won’t fall

I won’t fall as long as you’re around me

Even when the rain falls

Even when the flood starts rising

Even when the storm comes I am washed by the water

Kinda interesting just how much this song fits my life- even down to the whole "Daddy was a preacher" part lol

Spring Break!!!!!!

I am now on Spring Break!!! YEAHHHHHH!!! I'm soooooo glad!!!!

Trying to be Objective- While Still Forming Personal Opinions

Today in Bible class we were introduced to a book called "I Kissed Dating Goodbye". We had about 30 minutes of discussion on it before class was out. We debated "dating" vs. "courtship" and what we as students thought about both. It was funny that this came up because I was just talking to a friend of mine Saturday night about this same subject. She has a teenage son who dates and she was sharing with me her opinion of dating. When we were talking, I shared that I don't think that dating is bad- as long as you have strong standards and convictions- it's really no different from courting. You can "date" wrong and you can "court" wrong. In my opinion it doesn't matter what you call it...it's how you act.

I really believe that both views should be presented objectively.

I have my opinions on both "dating" and "courting". I think that you shouldn't date just to be able to say that you have a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend", but with the view of trying to find the person you are going to marry and spend the rest of your life with. Do I believe in dating when you are in your early teens? No. I think you should wait until you know that you are ready to start looking for your future mate. Can dating lead to a broken heart? Yes. But does "courting" atumatically make you immune to having your heart broken during the process of finding your mate? No.

I'm not saying I think that courting is a bad thing- it's been drilled into me for the past several years that courting is the only way to go. Yea, there are pros to courting; I am simply trying to think for myself and make sure that I form my own opinions and beliefs so that I will KNOW why I feel and believe the way I do on important issues such as these.

I think it's not the best thing to only present one side of an argument. I think we should have the freedom to explore both sides. By doing this we form opinions and beliefs that are REAL to us, and not something that has simply been "drilled" into us.

Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed

This past Thursday and Friday my Biology class watched the movie Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed. I had seen the movie once before, but seeing it again I saw and noticed facts and statements that I hadn't before. It was really interesting to see all the evidence that point against evolution, and points towards an Intelligent Creator- God.

The fact of the matter is this: small, gradual changes within a species do occur, but complete changes (an ape evolving into a human) do not.

Evolutionists rag on Creationists, or even people and scientist that simply believe in Intelligent Design, because they say that Creationism isn't scientific at all and that anyone who believes in it is stupid and ignorant. How can that be when these so-called "ignorant" Creationist scientists are highly educated and credentialed people? Evolutionist claim I.D. believers' idea of how we came to be "isn't scientific enough", but some of their theories suggest that we evolved from molecules the developed off the backs of crystals...some even suggest that we came into being from life that was seeded on earth by aliens. Wow, where's the "scientific" explanation in that? ...its not there...



This what it boils down to: God created the heavens and the earth, and everything in it. That's what the Bible says, and that's what I'm sticking to.

I have made the earth,

And created man on it.

I—My hands—stretched out the heavens,

And all their host I have commanded.

~Isaiah 45:12 , NKJV

And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.

~Genesis 2:7, NKJV

*sigh*

Ok, so, yesterday I was all excited because I was going to get my hair cut by one of the most amazing hairdressers ever, Sheila. When I walked in though I was informed that she was no longer working there; I asked if she had just moved to another place and I could go there to get my hair cut. The lady at the front desk was like "No; she's out of commission right now."
As weird as it sounds, I was like depressed the rest of the day b/c I have no idea who to have cut my hair now (I have major trust issues when it comes to who I let cut my hair). So now I am looking for a new hairdresser and as of now haven't found anyone... :(((((((

Spring Break

This four day weekend has gotten me looking forward to Spring Break!!..the four days of getting to just relax and hang out {well, minus the total of about 15 hours of babysitting}, was soooo fun. I loved not having to worry bout getting my homework done....which ended up biting me around 9 last nite when i remembered i still had to read 3 chapters in my stinkin' Silas Marner book AND finish my Grammar :p yea.....that was NOT fun trying to finish it...Silas took FOREVER to read cuz it was really hard to understand, and the questions i had to answer on my study guide were ridiculous lol.
All that to say...I AM ready for Spring Break!!...no wait, I'm ready for SUMMER!!!

P.S.-Btw thanks, Coach P, for not giving us homework over the 4 day weekend! =)

Excel Unit

We just finished an Excel unit in Computer Lit. It was really cool because before this unit, I had like no idea what in the world Excel was for. LOL. But now I do!! =D Thanks, Pautsch!!
It was pretty fun learning about it; I know that I will be able to apply the information from this unit now as well as later on.

Falling on the Rock

Lately my life has been a test of faith. It is through tough times such as these where we learn to completely depend on Christ to be our strength and joy. Through everything He has filled me with an incredible Peace that only He can give. He has surrounded me with people who care for me and love me, and have been there for me whenever I needed a physical reminder of just how much Christ loves me. The gift of friends and a strong spiritual family is one that is so precious to me...I can't even begin to express how much of a blessing that has proved to been the last few weeks. To know you have people who love you and who are willing to offer emotional support provides a huge sense of security.

I can honestly say that Christ has taught me so much about relying on Him through every storm and trial that presents itself; when it is completely out of my hands and out of my control, He is the only one I can depend on.

The wonderful things is: when we learn to give it to Him and recognise that it is not are responsibility to worry about (and even if we did it wouldn't change the situation) He fills us with His perfect peace. It is one of the greatest feelings to know that He's got it under control :)

It's amazing how free we feel when we finally surrender control.....

Hey!

I know that I haven't posted in a while...I've been busy with school and facebook :] ...it's my new-found love! Thanks to one of my friends introducing it to me- I'm hooked! It's really fun b/c I've found some of my old friends on there that I haven't talked to in forever!...no, seriously, in like the past 6 years...
Anyways, the bell is about to ring so I've got to so, but will have a little bit of free time to post tomorrow. Later! :)

Life

Ok, i'm not even going to lie- life has been CRAZY!! Stuff at home has been pretty tough and it's reallllly starting to affect me. I'll be sitting in class and just all the sudden be thinking about what's going on and it's really tough. I've gotten to the point now where I'm a little indifferent to it, but it's still really hard at times. Most days I'm okay, then other days someone will say something sarcastic or rude to me and I feel like I'm about to just go off on them. I don't want people to be like "Whoa! She's mean!"...I'm just going through some pretty intense stuff and i don't feel like putting up with it right now b/c i feel like my patience is wearing down.
Like, i said, most of the time I can go throughout my day and be fine...like today :)...but every once and a while it's really tough just to make it through the day.

But, God is still in control and this whole situation is in His hands...that's a relief to know! :)

Rachel's Crown

This year for Homecoming all of the girls are going to be wearing tiaras. Not all of the girls had one so Mrs. Warnock said she would bring hers and Rachel's up for soemone to wear. I was really shocked when she said "Rachel's" because Rachel is Mrs. Warnock's deceased daughter. She was an ETCS graduate who was tragically killed in a car wreck when she was in her early 20's. She was an AMAZING young woman of God who was COMPLETELY on fire for Him and who radiated Christ's love to EVERYONE she came in contact with. Everyone loved Rachel because she made them feel so special and loved. She was truly of a servant of the King who lead many to Him. I knew that to be able to wear Rachel's crown at homecoming would be an honor.

Alex walked into my first period class and handed me a tiara and said, "This is Rachel's so be really careful with it." My heart leaped when she told me it was Rachel's. All last night I was thinking and talking to God about how much I'd love to be able to wear her tiara because the way she lived her life is the way i want to live mine and be remembered by.

WOW

O my goodness!! Today's chapel was on the subject of abortion. It was sooo powerful and had me in tears. At the end of the service Mrs. Warnock (the founder of the school and the one who gave the message) called me up front.She told every one that I had felt the Lord calling me to fight for the lives of the unborn and become a part of the Pro-Life movement. She said that she wanted to pray for me. She then asked my Bible teacher, Mr. Anderson the come up and pray over me. He prayed that doors would be opened and that I would be able to go places that I shouldn't be able to in the natural but would through Him.
After chapel Mr. Gillis walked up to me and was like, "I'm proud of you, Kiersten, and will be praying you. I know you are going to do something good...something big!".
That was nice of him...

Afterward they prayed for me in chapel I felt so blessed. I really do feel like God has called me to stand up and be a voice. He has given me a burning passion and a heart determined to make a difference. I am excited to see what the future holds.

Half Way Through

I am half way through this school year and so far it hasn't been too bad. Computer Lit has been pretty fun- we've done blogging and have learned how to use Microsoft Word in a more efficient way. The blogging part was my favorite because I loved getting a grade on doing something that I love to do. The Microsoft portion of teaching was really cool too because Pautsch taught us how to create really neat resumes, newsletters, and job application packets.
It's been fun so far! Good job, Pautsch ! :)
Hope we haven't scared you out of teaching anymore lol.

Back in town

I just got back in town yesterday evening from going and staying with my beloved friend, Mrs. Teresa. We had a wonderful time together and I'm already starting to miss her :( I don't get to see her as often as I'd like, so every time I do it's a treat. She is an amazing woman of God who is a spiritual mother and mentor to me. I love her bunches and love getting to spend time with her, and listen to her teach me about the Word. In my opinion, it's so very important for young people to have someone in their life like that, that can teach then and mentor them.
I have been so blessed to have people in my life like this that pour into me and show me the love of Christ. I LOVE how God chooses to reveal Himself and His love to us through other Believers.

After getting settled in back home I went to Walmart to go get a couple things there. It was sooooo funny because when I was standing in the snack isle looking for those tasty lil 100 calorie snack packs, these two African American guys walked up to me. The first guy was like, "Ma'am, i just wanted to tell you that you are really beautiful! I saw you when you walked by, and I was like 'she is pretty!'. I just thought I'd tell you."
I was like, "Thank you, that's sweet of you. I appreciate it." I was hoping that would be the end, but he had different plans lol. He then proceeded to ask me where i went to school and what I liked to do for fun. I tried to come up with something boring so he'd lose interest but he didn't lol. He told me that he went to Kilgore College and that he had just turned 20 this past Monday. Then he asked me if we could get together some time; when he saw my hesitation he threw in "just as friends" LOL. He was like, "maybe you'd like to take down my number, or I could have yours?". I was kinda surprised that he kept on so i was like, "Well, about the whole hanging out thing: I'm not exactly sure how my dad would feel about that, but he's here somewhere if you want to talk to him.". Then he said something bout how he wasn't properly dressed so he really didn't want to lol.
I couldn't find my dad, so i just took him to my mom...who was easier to find. She explained to him that it probably wasn't going to happen, and he was a good sport bout it. The whole thing was just a little funny to me.... He was REALLY cute tho and had a gorgeous smile and if i had been a couple years older i would have probably given him my number LOL.
So, that my friends, was my amusement for the night!!

Ouch!

Ok, so i was playing with my precious baby cousin Caedon today when he decided to throw his head back and whack my nose. I heard a crunch/cracking sound and i almost started to panic. I got a little light headed but was able to pull myself together rather quickly. You know how bad it would have stunk to have a broken nose right before Homecoming? LOL. Thankfully it wasn't broken and it's pretty much fine now...just EXTREMELY sore. I know he most likely wasn't trying to hurt me so i wasn't upset at all; just scared that it would be jacked up for Homecoming lol. Knowing my luck something like that would be very possible to happen the week before LOL j.k.

I've been a little light-headed today and i'm not exactly sure why...i have a pretty bad headache too and feel a little less than tops. But, i have gotten to spend time with not only my beloved Friend, but also my wonderful Grandparents, Greatgrands, Aunt, and cousin so it's not too bad :) I'll take a lil medicine and it'll be aight.

Got to go for now ! Later, you guys! :)

The Weight Has Been Lifted!! :)

I AM THROUGH WITH EXAMS!!! It's a LOAD off mentally and now I am free to enjoy my weekend! :) Which I completely intend to do- i am leaving today to go and spend some time with my friend in Shreveport. I haven't gotten to see her in a while so I'm really looking forward to our time together.

Today i took my Geomoetry and Biology exams. The Geometry went a lil iffy, and I'm a tad concerned for my grade...I'll find out later this weekend.
Biology was swell though and i made a high grade on it. You did a great job making it, Pautsch :) I think that was my highest grade out of all my finals that i took.
Before taking it I was a little worried, b/c I really didn't put in the study time I had planned...my fault lol

Two Down- One to Go!!

I have just completed my second of three days of exams. So far I really haven't studied that much for any of my exams; i have just sorta been "winging" them. Not the best thing in the world I know, but when it's between that and getting adequate sleep I prefer to go with the latter. I know that's not that's not a good habit to get into (not studying very much), but right now I know I need to keep from stressing myself about studying. I'm still making high A's on them; so to me it's not worth killing myself to just score 3 points higher. They have all been A's so far so I'm pretty much content with them. The final two that I have tomorrow I will DEFINITELY be studying for : Geometry and Biology. I have convinced myself to not stress or worry about either, but i will for sure be putting in some studying time!!!

Back to Black

Last night I dyed my hair dark again. I really wanted to go back to the maroon tinted color I dyed it last time, but because of the color of my homecoming dress I didn't think the maroon was such a good idea this time. So I decided to go with a dark brown...then changed my mind b/c of a color I had seen on one of my friends. She had gone with a soft black and it turned out really pretty so I decided to go that route instead. Mine turned out darker than I expected but after a little while to get used to it, I didn't think it was too bad. I actually kind of like it now. I was able to keep a little of my red tint in it so that made me happy :)


Right now I am at school...it's the first of three of our exam days. I already finished my Comp. Lit finals so I'm free to just chill now...thanks Pautsch :)

I'm really tired and I ran out of time to eat breakfast so I don't really have a lot of energy right now. That doesn't matter though b/c today is a half day so I get to leave at noon *Hallelujah!!!*
Bad part is, I have to spend the extra time I have at home, studying for my Bible and History exams that I'm taking tomorrow. :( Oh well, I'm still happy that I'm getting out early :))))))

Psalm 27

Psalm 27
A Psalm of David.

1 The LORD is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the strength of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid?

2 When the wicked came against me
To eat up my flesh,
My enemies and foes,
They stumbled and fell.

3 Though an army may encamp against me,
My heart shall not fear;
Though war may rise against me,
In this I will be confident.

4 One thing I have desired of the LORD,
That will I seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the LORD
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the LORD,
And to inquire in His temple.

5 For in the time of trouble
He shall hide me in His pavilion;
In the secret place of His tabernacle
He shall hide me;
He shall set me high upon a rock.

6 And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me;
Therefore I will offer sacrifices of joy in His tabernacle;
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the LORD.

7 Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice!
Have mercy also upon me, and answer me.

8 When You said, “Seek My face,”
My heart said to You, “Your face, LORD, I will seek.”

9 Do not hide Your face from me;
Do not turn Your servant away in anger;
You have been my help;
Do not leave me nor forsake me,
O God of my salvation.

10 When my father and my mother forsake me,
Then the LORD will take care of me.

11 Teach me Your way, O LORD,
And lead me in a smooth path, because of my enemies.

12 Do not deliver me to the will of my adversaries;
For false witnesses have risen against me,
And such as breathe out violence.

13 I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the LORD
In the land of the living.

14 Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!

FRIDAY!! :)

SWEET!!! It Friday again!...favorite day of the school week LOL i can't wait for the weekend; it's going to give me a lot of extra time to catch up on everything i need to- which will be good!! :)

In Preparation for Finals...

Today was basically a review day in all my classes for our finals. I'm a little scared about a couple of them because I feel like i didn't truly learn the stuff the first time around, so this "reviewing" doesn't seem much like a review. A couple of the finals I don't plan on having difficulty with (like English, and [after today] my comp lit final), but my World History final will definitely be one that I'll be studying a WHOLE bunch for and no doubt cramming the last days prior to. My Bible final shouldn't be too terribly hard, but because it covers so much it might be a little difficult. Biology is still a little iffy....

Today we got our Computer Lit final requirements. I was really ticked off while I was working on it because I felt like I didn't fully understand some of the details of the assignments so I was having difficulty working on it. * a BIGGIE that I CAN'T STAND is not knowing what is expected and what I'm supposed to do...call it a fault, idk...*

I'm starting to get a little stressed out with all i have going on with school, so this seemed to be just another thing to add to my growing list of "to-get-done's" . I so wanted to SCREAM...but decided that probably wasn't the best way to express my frustration. lol.
I did make it through the class, and after having a while to think about the assignment and come up with some ideas to help conquer it, I was fine. :)
I've had stuff like this pile up before, and for me it's just a matter of sitting down, making a list of all i have to complete, and then crossing off as many as possible...as fast as possible!

The good news is: ALL this will be over and done with within two weeks!:) The finals will be done with by the 16th, the Honors project will be turned in by next Tuesday, and Homecoming (and all the Student Council planning that goes with it) will be completed!... And that, my friend, will be oh so splendid!! :)

Back to School !!

Today is my first day back to school in two weeks. It's going to be an adjustment getting up at 5am again and having to worry bout finishing assignments and homework.

My Christmas/New Years Break so wonderful that it makes it hard to come back and spend the whole day at school again.

The best gift I got 4 Christmas this year was having my second cousin Aaron come down from Wisconsin. It was a welcomed change to see a Northerner that didn't complain about the South *wink-wink, Mr. Pautsch...not trying to be mean, but I can't stand hearing people complain about TX* .

He spent Christmas day with my family as well as New Years. It was really fun b/c we were really non-traditional this year. We spent Christmas day at the house and New Year's Eve at a party and then together playing Monopoly...then we went to Walmart and got some Monsters!! Aaron bought me a Monster and Josh a Nos (the LAST thing my brother needed that night LOL. It was still sweet of you, Aaron lol).


(Aaron and I took a picture with our Monsters!:)



We all had a really great time...and now I'm sad it's over :((((

Aaron's last day :(

We had to take my cousin to the airport yesterday so he could fly back to Wisconsin. It was really hard to have him leave, and I am already missing him being here. The visit was soooooo fun and now I can't wait for him to come back during the Summer...which by the way we already have planned out. I told him he needs to just come back as a North-South American exchange student LOL.



We were all really sad the day of his departure. We decided to have one last fun-packed day before he left. We started the day by going to Fort Worth and seeing some different things there. We went to a really neat restaurant there called Joe T's. We had outside seats and it was sooo beautiful!




Here's a picture of my CUTE lil' brother and my totally AWESOME cousin! :)





Here's a pic of me :)






My Dad and Me



Dad took a pic when we weren't really expecting it; I have the classic Blank Stare on my face LOL






This is a slightly better version LOL



Here are a few more pics of us before we left Joe T's:

After Joe T's we went to the Stockyards in Forth Worth....then we headed to DFW to drop off Aaron :(...the saddest part of the day

This is us at the airport before he went through Security (right before leaving us):

We were all really sad....

But then we perked up when we thought of how we might get to see him this summer :)