The Day I Lost My Best Friend

As I drifted off to sleep, I was jolted back to consciousness by the glowing blue-white light from
my cellphone’s screen illuminating my dark bedroom. Picking up my phone, my
heart felt a twinge of excitement as I read the screen: “One New Message from
Cameron Blake*.” My closest, dearest friend had sent me a message.
I shook the last remnants of sleep from my mind and clicked on my message icon.
I blinked sharply and tried to focus my vision- hoping it was just my
drowsiness causing me to read his message wrong. But it wasn’t. My heart began
to race as I re-read his message from the first letter to the last: “I’ve
realized I’m still crazy over Kelli*…” A warm flush of blood ran through my
whole body, and my previously racing heart seemed to freeze to a complete halt.
With those few words came the heart-wrenching realization that I was about to
lose my Cameron, my best friend.
Feeling a sense of panic, I asked him if we could meet
somewhere and talk. We decided to meet at Denny’s the next night after we each
got off work. The following day seemed to drag on. I was so anxious to talk to
him that I almost felt ill. My heart knew what was coming, but the hopeful part
of me was determined to cling to the belief that I knew Cameron better. Eventually
9:30 p.m. sauntered by. In a haze of emotion I found myself in the Denny’s
parking lot wishing I was anywhere but there. Walking through the doors of the
restaurant, I wondered how a place Cameron and I had been so many times together could
suddenly feel so intimidating. I used to love eating there with him; we would
sit and talk for hours while munching on our favorite breakfast foods. But this
time the sweet smell of pancakes and the sizzling sound of eggs being cooked in
the kitchen did nothing but turn my stomach sick. We sat in a booth positioned
by a table of three joking, playful college students and for a moment I envied
their light-heartedness.
After a couple minutes of strained small talk Cameron asked
what it was I wanted to talk about. “Are you sure you want to get back in a
relationship with her?” I tried to hide the pleading tone in my voice. Holding
my cold glass of barely sipped pineapple mango smoothie, I braced myself for
the answer. I felt scared and helpless to do anything but listen for the answer
that would determine the fate of our relationship. “I really think I do,” he
quietly answered. I wanted so badly to grab his hand and ask, “But what about us? You told me that you love me, and I love you too! Why can’t it be you and me
forever?” Instead I hid the tears welling up in my eyes and masked my pain with
a supportive smile. With watery eyes, I told him that I would always support
him choosing whatever made him the happiest. He explained to me that this
didn’t mean that he was “losing” me, but rather a way he could “keep me
forever.” All of it sounded nice, but my heart knew everything about our
relationship was about to change- everything that made it so unique and
wonderful.
I knew this meant no more late night drives alone simply
spent enjoying the other’s company, and the warmth, stability, and security I
no longer felt at home. No more sweet, innocent cuddling during the movies we
would go see together. And no more long hugs that magically made every stress
and fear in the world slowly fade away. His arms were the safest place on Earth
to me, and to know I had just lost that was enough to bring on a flood of
emotions and an aching sense of loss. After spending eleven months helping him
heal from the pain of his past breakup, he was severing the potential for us to
be “officially” a couple, and returning to the person he told me numerous times
had hurt him so badly.
“Is that all you wanted to talk about?” he asked inquisitively. I was snapped back to reality and pulled away from my thoughts with his question. I mustered up all my remaining strength and forced a weak smile. “Yeah, that was all,” I numbly replied. But the truth was that I wanted
to say so much more. I left Denny’s feeling like I still had a million and one
things I wanted to say, but had frozen from the fear of pouring my heart out
only to be misunderstood. As I pulled out of the parking lot, the tears I had
fought so fiercely to hold back came spilling over. I could barely contain my
crying, and after a few short minutes I didn’t even try. My sobs echoed through
the hollow corridor of my heart and reverberated the emptiness I felt inside…I
had lost my best friend whom I had fallen in love with.

Abortion: Is it Ever Morally Acceptable?

There have been few issues as fiercely debated as the issue of abortion. Some view it
simply as an issue of the choice of whether a woman should be able to choose if she
would like to continue a pregnancy to term, or end it. But others view it as a
right-to-life issue, and that no person should have the legal “right” to choose
to take a life of another human being like having an abortion takes the life of
an unborn baby. Scientific advances have proven that unborn babies are truly
alive. For example, an unborn baby’s heart starts to beat at 23 days after
conception, and brain waves can be detected at merely 40 days after conception.
A new individual’s life is present inside the womb, and therefore I believe it
should be illegal to have a procedure done to end that life. The right to make
a “choice” should not over-power the right an individual has to continue their
life- regardless of how young that life is. Abortion takes a life and
disregards that fundamental right to “Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of
Happiness” that is given in the Declaration of Independence. All other “rights”
become worthless without the right to life. Nothing should justify taking an
innocent life. Even in cases of rape and incest, abortion is wrong because it
ends the life of a tiny human being.
The issue of abortion is so complex because there is a broad range of emotions and opinions associated with it, compounded with the lack of education concerning it. Because the subject is
sometimes considered social taboo, a portion of the population that support
abortion do so not because they have heard facts, but because slogans like “My
body, my choice” appeals to the “No one is in control of me” mentality that
many people tend to gravitate towards. Unfortunately, this logic has led to
many abortion supporters who are unaware of what they are truly supporting and
fighting for. Because they have not been supplied facts like these: the unborn
baby has a heartbeat, the unborn baby has brain waves, its own blood type, DNA, etc., when they hear “My body, my choice” they aren’t aware that it’s not just the mother’s body that an abortion effects.

It’s interesting to note the stories of people who have dramatically changed their
position on abortion after simply being told facts about the developing baby
and being informed about what actually takes place during an abortion procedure
and how graphic and disturbing it is. Hearing the truth and facts can bring to
light that the real “choice” they are fighting for is a woman’s choice to
murder her unborn child. Abby Johnson, the Director of Texas Planned Parenthood
(a major abortion provider), resigned after seeing an ultrasound video of a
baby being killed by abortion. She is a prime example of how many people support
abortion because they have not seen the facts that would convince them to do
otherwise. Former abortionists have quit their jobs after coming to the
realization that the tiny arms, legs, feet, and hands that they were ripping
out from the mother’s womb belonged to a tiny human being. Abortion advocate
and President of the National Coalition of Abortion Providers, Ron Fitzsimmons,
admits that “It [abortion] is a form of killing. You’re ending a life.” If
abortionists themselves recognize that abortion ends an innocent life, it would suggest that abortion
deserves to be looked at closely before supporting a woman’s legal “right” to
it.

Surprisingly, even some people who say that they oppose abortion, because they know that it takes a life, support it and see it acceptable in cases of rape and incest. This brings to question
why a baby conceived by rape or incest would deserve less of a right to live
than a baby conceived through a healthy love for two people. If we have
determined that the unborn baby is indeed alive, then it is a LIFE regardless
of how it was brought into existence. The rapist/ baby’s father’s action that
was the cause of the baby’s conception was an act of violence, but it is the rapist
who should be punished for his actions, not the baby created as a result of
them. Sadly, oftentimes it is the rapist that gets punished with jail time and
gets to go free but his baby who receives the death penalty.
Some would argue that making a woman carry her rapist’s baby to term would be cruel and that abortion would simply end the trauma that the woman is experiencing, but it is important to look at statistics and what women who aborted after rape had to say about it. Many of
them said that they felt a compounded guilt and shame because even though the
rape was not their fault, they perpetuated the violence that they experienced
by killing their unborn baby. Jackie tells her story in the book Aborted Women, Silent No More: “I soon discovered that the aftermath of my abortion continued a long time after the
memory of my rape had faded. I felt empty and horrible. Nobody told me about
the pain I would feel deep within causing nightmares and deep depressions. They
had all told me that after the abortion I could continue my life as if nothing
had happened.” It is necessary to recognize the fact that abortion is often
times extremely traumatic for anyone, especially sexual assault victims, and is
not the solution that the wounded, scared woman deserves. She deserves better
than abortion, better than being told to kill her own child in response to the
pain that someone else caused her. Society’s answer to women who are facing
unplanned pregnancies due to rape or incest should not be to pressure them into
having an abortion, but rather to support them and help them find healing and a
sense of redemption from their pain with a new life that they can nurture.

It is important to realize that we are surrounded by people every day that are here because they were conceived by rape, and they are individuals who deserve life just as much as someone whose
birth was planned. Rebecca Wasser-Kiessling put it very clearly when she said,
“I believe that God rewarded my birth mother for the suffering she endured, and
that I am a gift to her. The serial rapist is not my creator; God is.” Similarly,
Julie Makimaa, who was conceived as a result of rape said, “It doesn't matter
how I began. What matters is who I will become.” These two women are examples
of the fact that babies conceived by rape or incest are just like the rest of
us: they deserve the right to life.
All life is precious, regardless of its beginning, and it deserves to be protected and defended even when it is still in the womb. No situation should justify taking an innocent life via
abortion, even in cases of rape and incest. It is important to educate
ourselves and our friends about the effects and truths about abortion so that
we can be better equipped to defend life and take a stand for those who do not
have a voice, as well as protect women from making a choice that could haunt
them the rest of their lives. True care and compassion considers both the life
of the mother and the unborn baby involved and loves and defends them both.

Memory

I feel the cold sand between my toes
I am standing on the shore.
I know where I am,
I've been here before.
~
I can see the foamy blue waves in the distance, rolling in.
The sky is clear and my heart is prepared.
Your memory
Like a wave
Is about to greet me.
~
I sigh in expectation-
The waves have come before.
Each time they hit, they fill the crevices
Now empty
Then wash back away from shore.
~
I hear the soft breeze as it blows through my hair.
The salty sea mist finds a place on my face
And is joined by the teardrops dancing down my cheek.
~
But my heart is at peace,
For I've learned to appreciate the waves.
I hold my breath
As the first wave crashes against my heart
I hear your soft whisper
And feel
Your warm embrace.
But I ache because I know
It is only a wave...
~
For an instant it is as if you were with me
Again
Holding me tight.
~
I wish you could stay...
~
But as soon as it hits, it rolls
Back to sea...
And I wait
Until the next time your memory greets me