A Candid Confession

I'm sitting here on the floor of my bedroom, laptop resting comfortably on my legs, while my brain dances and bends with a million different thoughts... all while a few tears escape the boundaries of my eyes and graze the sides of my cheeks. I feel so anxious and heavy-hearted that I can barely stand it. My heart is burdened with the realization of what is about to take place tomorrow...
Apart from two exams and 3 hours of lecture that I know will both require a vigiourous amount of writing, thinking, and recalling, tomorrow is the day I say my final goodbye to my late friend, Les. My day will go something like this: 2 tests, 3 hours of precise note-demanding lecture, a funeral, and then heading to my sister's house to help her with wedding planning and projects (her wedding of course, not mine). The fact that my friend's funeral is going to be thrown into the mix of several every-day, routine & light-hearted tasks is almost enough to make me sick to my stomach. How can a day be expected to carry on so simply while a person so dear has left the face of this earth forever? Of course with him being my friend I am more impacted by his death than people who didn't know him, but somehow I feel like I'm dishonoring him by simply going throughout my day before & after his funeral.
I've been grieving his death since the moment I heard the news. It was 10:15 a.m., I was sitting in my second & final class for the day when I received the text that Les had been in a motorcycle wreck on his way to teach at the Police Academy. An SUV pulled infront of him, apparently unaware that he was there, and they crashed...Les was talking on the way to the ER and everything...then simply died after they got there. When I read the text my body felt like it had been filled with lead. My professor also knew Les through when he taught him decades ago, and as I was sharing the news with him I couldn't keep the tears from streaming down my face. Each one that fell felt as if a piece of my heart was pierced with it. Everything within me wanted to scream that it couldn't be true, that there was no way that Les was gone forever...but he was.
I had just seen Les 4 days before. He came into Napolis to eat with his bestfriend of 32 years, Brian. I was the waitress that always served them, who they lovingly called "Princess", and who always made sure to bring cupcakes with when I went up to visit them at the Police Academy between the classes they taught. They both adopted me and I adopted them. They were my special buddies. Regardless of the day I was having, anytime Les & Brian decided to come see me, my world would get ten times better, everything suddenly seemed in proportion again, and I would laugh with them until I was out of breath. Very few people knew how to take the two; they had a chemistry that could only come after 32 years of brotherly friendship, and a comfort with quite vocally jokingly [although quite convincingly] fighting with each other that came along with it. But I did, and that was one of the things that made me love them so much.

Perhaps after writing this post and having a chance to put my thoughts down on paper (internet blog-paper aleast lol), things will make more sense in my head...but honestly, up until now things haven't. My whole life I've been taught that everything happens according to God's perfect plan, to trust in His perfect Will, and to accept His perfect Will because everything happens for a reason. In my heart of hearts, I know that there has to be a reason behind Les' death, that there has to be something beautiful that comes from it that wouldn't have otherwise. At this point the only thing I've come up with is that he was (I know for sure) an organ donor, so from his death a few people have an opportunity to live. And right now, I'm okay with stopping at that rationalization. This is difficult to admit, and followed with a sense of guilt, but I feel as if I don't have the faith to try to rationalize it anymore .
I wish I could say I was a super-faith Christian that was totally at peace with the fact that Les is gone forever, but to say that wouldn't actually represent what I'm feeling. I found out the other day that Les was involved in Church and ministry and from what I know, a Christian. So that does give me a little bit more peace to know that if he was indeed a Christian, he's now in a place of no more potential pain or suffering. But then I'm hit with the over-whelming questions of "Well, what was so bad here that he had to leave?", "He was such an amazing man who impacted so many people through educating multiple generations of Police officers, why would God choose to allow that to be cut short?" "Why would God allow Les to be taken from his wife, sons, daughter, and his bestfriend Brian?" Why, why, why? None of it makes sense, and honestly, I've stopped trying to make it make sense. Instead I'm being honest about my feelings and candidly confessing the fact that no, I'm not okay with his death, I'm not happy to try to understand the plan in this, and I am indeed having a difficult time mustering up the Faith to simply accept this.

Heal

Pretty little coverings
Over broken, shattered hearts,
Aches and pains covered in
Satin and Lace.
If we could pull away
The layers that hide
And allow ourselves to feel,
Then maybe we could find the
Answers we need
And allow ourselves to
Heal.

The Need For Sex Education

I was told to write a short persuasive essay and decided to go with a topic that I really haven't written much about before, but felt like sharing my opinion on.



Much controversy surrounds the comprehensive sex education vs. abstinence-only education debate. Some believe only comprehensive sex education should be taught to students because, in their opinion, abstinence-only education does not work since it fails to teach teens how to protect themselves if they choose to have sex. Others argue that abstinence-only education should be taught to students because it is the only method that teaches fail-safe pregnancy prevention as well as guaranteed STD protection (provided the student has made a commitment and choice to abstain from sex and are not forced to have sex against their will). I believe age appropriate, health-focused sex education should be taught alongside abstinence-only programs for several reasons. First, sex education does not solely promote sex, its goal is to promote protection and health. Secondly, sex education is not something that the students will use only in their teen and High School years, but in their adult (and even married) lives as well. Thirdly, sex education should be taught along with abstinence-only education because it is better for a student to be given the education and information that they need, and never have to apply it, than to not be given the proper information and make an uneducated or poor decision because of it.

Although some parents might complain that that if their teenage children were taught about sex that they would go wild and experiment with all kinds of sexual dangers, I know from personal experience that this broad assumption is not true for every teenager. Even though the school my parents decided they wanted their kids to go to is one whose curriculum is very strict about teaching abstinence-only education, I can honestly say that it is the sex
education that I received outside of the abstinence-only that placed the biggest deterrent on having sex. Having learned about the dangers of STDs, the risk of pregnancy, and also how to properly protect myself from both, has not only given me the empowerment and facts I need in order to be prepared, but also given me an incentive to wait to have sex. Not every aspect of sex is pretty, and teenagers need to be able to see those realities plainly through sex education. I am a virgin, and I can say that the sex education that I have received apart from my school’s abstinence-only teachings is largely to thank.
Another reason sex education should be taught is because sex education does not only benefit students when they are teenagers, the knowledge they gain can be carried and applied to their adult lives and even into marriage. Sex education can equip teens with the knowledge of how to properly use birth control when family planning after they are married. Many people
argue that teens don’t need sex education because they “shouldn’t be having sex as teenagers”, but logically, it is better for teens to be presented with information while they are young in case they do end up needing to put it into practical use before marriage, rather than waiting until the eve of their wedding to be told the process of sex, and truths and facts concerning it.

Finally, it is better to be prepared and never have to use the resources of your preparation, than to be unprepared and regret it. In one split second, a teenager who has made a decision to remain abstinent can change his or her mind, and it is better for them to have the knowledge of safe sex to fall back on than to be lacking and find themselves with an STD or pregnant. Yes, I don’t believe teenagers should be going around having sex, but I also know that when it comes down to it, the decision to have sex or to abstain is solely up to the individual. The decision is not up to the teenager’s teachers, Pastor, or even parents. While I don’t advocate teenagers going against their parents’ wishes for them to not have sex, in reality, I know it still happens. School systems can spend countless hours telling their students not to have sex, but if the teenager is
of legal age (which is 17 in my home state of Texas), and chooses to have sex , then abstinence-only education is not going to help or protect them at all.

If age appropriate, health focused sex education is presented to all students (abstinent or not) it can help equip them with the knowledge to make informed decisions and help protect themselves from the consequences that could have occurred had they not been given the information they needed. I am pro-abstinence, and very much so support abstinence-only
education; I just believe it necessary for students’ health that it to be presented along with comprehensive sex education as well.

It has been proven that abstinence during the teenage years benefits a young person the rest of their lives, and abstinence-only education can be a great tool for letting that be known. Even Planned Parenthood, who is a vehement supporter of teens engaging in and experimenting
with sex, as stated on their website, lists several benefits of remaining abstinent- including a decreased risk of infertility from STDs and cervical cancer. If we can educate teenagers on how to protect themselves through abstinence and safe sex for those who choose to be sexually active, then we can help decrease the number of teens contracting STDs and becoming pregnant. I firmly believe that teaching effective protection and birth control is the most responsible action educators can take. I believe each individual has a duty to be responsible, and being responsible involves making informed decisions, helping others make informed decisions, and being honest about the facts and consequences of those decisions.
Students deserve to be presented with both abstinence-only education along with age appropriate sex education as well. If both are presented together they can help fill in the gaps in education that each one on their own would leave empty. Teaching sex education does not mean
that you are trying to promote sex and it can definitely help save teenagers from pitfalls in the road ahead of them. It is better to educate teenagers now on how to be responsible and knowledgeable when it comes to sex, rather than after they experience the life-long consequences of ignorance.

An Interesting Dialogue

Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD good ?...

Student : Sure.

Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent.)

Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor: Where does satan come from ?

Student : From … GOD …

Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student :Yes

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer.)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who created them ?

(Student had no answer.)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smell your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn’t.

(The lecture theatre became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class broke out into laughter. )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.